“She is the most well behaved and sweetest girl…you are doing something right with her.”
I’ve beaten myself up about being a mother since the day I found out I was pregnant. No ideal situation involved me doing this “on my own“.
I always feared I would ruin Ky in some way because of my poor decisions and the lack of time I spend with her.
And yet, I get told how great she is, how great I’m doing, and how proud people are of me.
Seriously…I don’t understand why. I don’t think I’m doing anything spectacular. I just wake up, deal with my kid, drain my sorrows in wine, and go back to sleep. DASSIT! It absolutely blows my mind when people compliment how I’m “dealing” –I guess. But then again, I don’t give myself enough credit either.
Dear Future Self,
You are so fucking awesome and dope. Do you know that?! Like do you understand you’re mothering the fuck out of single motherhood?! Even when you feel exhausted, depressed from life, you still muster up enough of you to give to your child! She is fed. She is cared for. She is loved. She loves church. She loves her family & friends. She loves school. She loves YOU! No matter what “you” she gets. She still loves you! And wants to be around you!
And that’s YOUR doing! Take the credit! You take her on dates and adventures. You spend time with her. Even when you don’t feel like yourself. Even when you want to be alone. Even when you feel down and out. Even when you think you’ve had enough….You give to her. THAT’S STRENGTH!
YOU. ARE. STRENGTH.
AND DOING IT WELL!
Don’t EVER think you’re not enough. You are everything!
I know my blog isn’t about offering advice…but I’m going to give one anyway [because I can change my mind!]
Write yourself a letter. Compliment everything about you. It doesn’t have to be about motherhood…but embrace everything you think is wrong with the topic you choose to address. Watch how speaking positivity over yourself will change your outlook!
[And then share it with me so I can BIG YOU UP as well! @BeingAMomMeans on IG & Twitter!]
-Ash