I just wanted to take the time to write a loving letter…
Let’s begin shall we!
To whom it may concern,
I just wanted to write to you about all the advice you so lovingly give…
From how to wash my child to what I should buy my child.
Yes, I so generously thank you for taking such an interest in my parenting skills. Because ya know, “I don’t got this”- like at all. Like I’m completely losing my shit without your guidance.
Like seriously how would I ever know that the CVS brand of eczema creme is not up to par with the Gold Bond brand?! Like how, Sway??
And how could I possibly think that water, leave-in conditioner, a little hair lotion, and a comb could possible do anything for her natural hair?? Like forget that you have those perms daily…and want to put extensions in my toddler’s hair….even though there’s oatmeal in it by 9a. How do you have so much knowledge??
OH and the potty training! Son! The. Potty. Training. Skipping that whole pull-ups mess. Undies only for my not-even-two, not-remotely-ready toddler. And so what if she pees everywhere and sits around in her mess. I don’t work two jobs or anything. I have the time to follow her around, put her on the toilet every 15mins, wash laundry, and still get my twist out & lesson plans done simultaneously. Easy.
I especially like that advice about my daughter’s diet. No, really it’s good stuff. She definitely does not need to eat heavy foods after 7p. Like what toddler wants hips from all that bread and animal crackers anyway?? Good stuff, man. Goooooood stuff.
I think the best advice is all the stuff I need to get her for her room: a bunk bed, interchangeable wall decals, a desk, her own disney character sheets (not those still in good condition, taking up space, sheets I had in college), toys galore for Christmas (because ya know, I gets paid with this teacher salary)…all the important things…to a toddler…a two year old.
This is all great stuff…GREEEEEAT stuff…And I know, as she grows older, they’ll be even more lovely advice about what I should do with my child…because ya know, you’re a child expert, momma life coach or whateva.
So, uh, thanks!
One annoyed, fed up, still-gonna-do-what-she-wanna-do (because I GOT THIS!) momma.