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…protecting your baby

Hey folks,

So one of the big things I’ve kind of been passive aggressive about is Ky’s daycare and their opinions about her hair.

Now if you haven’t noticed, we’re black. Yea, crazy right?!

But anyway, I wear my hair naturally -as in no chemicals, perms, etc.- and choose to leave Ky’s hair alone. My main reason being she’s a flipping baby…er, um, toddler. And her hair is too fragile (to me) to even think about doing it everyday or anything. The most I’ll do to it is wash it, put creme in it, and finger detangle it (comb it on rare occasions). And it works for me and my schedule right now. I really don’t have the time or energy…and most natural haired folks will agree that washing, prepping, and whatever else needed is an ALLL DAY process.

Yea, no. Not with a toddler.

But for some reason MY decision to do want I want with MY child’s hair is a problem for her teachers. Today was the third, maybe fifth, conversation I’ve had with them about doing her hair.

H: Ky’s mama, can we play in Ky’s hair?

Me: Thanks for asking (because in the past they’ve never asked). Why is that?

H: We just wanted to do something to it.

Me: Ok, liiiike….?

(I say all of this will a smile and pleasant attitude by the way)

H: We just want to see some bows or puffs and stuff in it

Okay, I’ll end here. But here’s how I picked up Ky this afternoon

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I don’t see anything wrong with it per se, but the reason behind her hair is what bothers me.

Now somewhere in the mist of our convo, there was a shot thrown; like a “well your hair looks great, what about Ky?” kind of shot. And a “well there’s nothing wrong with throwing in bows and a little grease”. Mind you, her teachers are black, have short natural hair or wear what looks to be weave. I have nothing against whatever they choose to do with THEIR child(ren)’s hair or their own, but there’s nothing wrong with MY daughter’s hair. Sure, there’s lint and elements of our world that happens to find its way into her hair, but SO WHAT?! SHE’S A YEAR OLD! Show me a clean one year old, and I’ll prove they’re only clean because of the bath they had 10secs ago. Give me a flipping break!

I want my daughter to fall in love with every aspect of herself…that includes her hair. I would hate for her to grow up thinking that having her fro out isn’t “appropriate” or “flattering”. And for now, I know she doesn’t understand any of this…hell, she doesn’t even care. But I do. For her sake. For the sake of her self esteem in the future. I refuse to have ANYONE convince my daughter that she has to look a certain way. And I hope to instill a IDGAF kind of attitude in her when it comes to that because that was something I struggled with growing up. I wanted to fit in, through my clothes, hair, whatever. Just to get the approval of people I wouldn’t care to see any day. I don’t want that for Ky. Not when she can possess some mu

ch beauty and power within her *Cue “I am not my hair”*

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I just find it scary that my daughter could possibly go through that that cycle. Hating herself. Nope! NOT ON MY WATCH! Not with me as her mother!

We’ll play this little game this week. But come Monday, we showering that place in nothing but BLACK GIRL MAGIC.

Game. On.

 

-Ash

Author:

30. Single Mom. Teacher. Procrastinator. Lazy Maid. Personal Preschooler Cook. Born & Raised in NY. Existing Somewhere in NC.

6 thoughts on “…protecting your baby

  1. Sometimes I’ll put some hair lotion in my sons hair, then fluff it up with my fingers. I MIGHT pick it if we’re going somewhere “nice” lol, but that’s all right now. I’ve gotten comments and stares from people because of his hair, but I stopped letting it bother me because they don’t know the stuff that I have to go through just to straighten out his hair. I don’t plan to get his hair cut either (something people always ask) until he can sit in peace while someone touches his hair. I’m not sure how long it’ll take, but I’m not rushing it because it’s not killing anyone.

    Like

  2. We have to teach Kylie these words ..’please don’t touch my hair ‘ or better yet put those words on a t-shirt ..let them know it’s not ok to interject their thoughts onto her developing psychi ..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree with you! Daycare workers/teachers shouldn’t be the judge of what you deem appropriate for your child’s looks. As long as she is coming in there clean and cared for, they should keep their subjectivity to themselves! Go you for standing strong for your princess !

    Liked by 1 person

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