One of my biggest focus, as of late, is finding peace. I believe it is SO important…especially being a single mom because those “peaceful” moments are few and far between.
A few weeks ago, everything was starting to get to me: living in someone else’s house, sharing a room with my daughter, messes, money, time, being tired, being inconsistent at work, trying to be better in my faith, etc. It was feeling like I was losing control of everything and I had no down time to deal with it.
Well Ky was extremely needy around this time. She was throwing tantrums, but wanting to be held, but not really, and I thought she was sleepy, but she’d just cry for hours, so I thought she might be hungry but would just throw her food…Like it was like she was a newborn again and I had had enough. I didn’t understand my kid; didn’t know who she was because I didn’t know what was wrong with her. And you what think after a year I would have some clue!
So I did what I thought would help: called my mom and cried.
Well that’s what I wanted to do. Tell my mom I wanted to ship Ky to her and I’ll take her back when she was 10 or something. Just so I could at least sleep at night, and clean my room, and just go out without having to worry about who had time to care for her for a few hours. I had enough of motherhood (after a year…pathetic…).
That’s what I wanted to say.
Well Ky just perked up when she heard the FaceTime ringing sound (she’s really into phones now) and just placed her beautiful face all in the frame. She and her Gigi just chatted and chatted (if you can call it that) and it was like I was never even there. Just like that, both of our meltdowns over.
Lesson: Give your child your phone and walk away. Problem Solved.