I absolutely HATE relying on others. Like if I had to choose between relying on someone to catch me during a trust fall or trusting that a tank full of sharks won’t rip me to shreds, I’m picking the shark tank…EVERY TIME.
Now that I have a daughter, the next thing that I absolutely hate is folks saying, “if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask”.
Ok this message is for the folks who offer that “help” to new parents…single parents….etc.
Dear You Helpful Person(s),
I absolutely appreciate you offering your help. I know how much that means to you to want to be able to do that. So thank you.
But we both know it’s a load of bull….and that’s ok!
Let me explain.
You have a life. And so do I. But life is going to be very inconsistent for me and it’ll be difficult to make yourself as available as you want to be.
Like when my daughter may have a case of whooping cough- because you know, daycares are a cesspool full of germs- will you be able to drop everything and get her for me? Probably not. What about staying home with her until she’s cured? Probably not. Well that might not work for you. Let’s try another scenario.
I am called to work at my other job- because you know, teachers need second jobs to live- can you get Ky for me and watch her until I get off? Hmm…didn’t think so.
Hold on, hold on…we might be able to get somewhere…
I need just a few hours to decompress and maybe see a movie by myself, but you have a date…would you still be able to watch Ky and postpone or cancel your date? I wouldn’t want you to either.
I greatly appreciate the offer, but your offer has been declined.
I have nothing against folks who want to help. God bless you if you give up your time and do it. But I’m realistic.These people have lives and probably don’t want to be tied to a child. That was my choice…my responsibility.
I find it so difficult to ask someone to watch my daughter two days in a row, on such short notice. But that’s my life these days. Rarely ANYTHING is scheduled! And even if it is, I never know what today’s date is for me to keep up. Like when in the world did we get to SEPTEMBER?!
I have to thank God, though. I’m in a field where I can kind of take my daughter with me to things and she has such an easy going personality…for now….Like today’s 8hr workshop. She was kind of over it by hour 6 (shoot, we ALL were), but still handled herself pretty well.
I’m pretty lucky ; )
But hey, I gotta do what I gotta do…
2 thoughts on “…relying on yourself”
Glad you can be realistic. As a lot of single moms have impractical expectations from the people around them…just so long as you recognize help when it’s offered. 🙂